I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
