I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
