Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
