I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize