Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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