a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
