i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
