I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
