the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize