i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
