awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
