I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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