Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
