He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
pray to the hookup gods
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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