did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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