we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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