Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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