Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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