I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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