i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
