therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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