That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
