You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
