All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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