she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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