i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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