People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
