if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
