Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
