is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize