Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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