Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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