You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
