There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
