Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
