LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
40s are totally the cure
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
