i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
