My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
