Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
