Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
