there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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