that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
