What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
