You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
