sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
