After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize