you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
