My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
one might say we're banned from that church
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
