So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry my hands just texted you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
