giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
