thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
