i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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