sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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