Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
