similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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