I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
