He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
