My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize